Cristin and Kevin have become some of our very best friends over the past few short years we have known each other. Cristin and I have so much in common, other people have actually mistaken one of us for the other! What I love about these two and their family is their commitment to grow and learn. They both wear their hearts on their sleeves and I don’t know about you, but I am certainly attracted to that. People who know how to be vulnerable, loyal and passionately playful are my kind of people! This is their story….
When and where did you meet?
K: August 2006. I was hanging out in a friend’s dorm room when she (Cristin) came in and invited me to church.
When is your anniversary?
C: Our wedding anniversary is May of 2009. We started dating July 1, 2007 and were engaged 3 months later!
If you could have 3 wishes for your future what would they be?
C: I would like for us to grow in our mutual spiritual life, to work out some reasonable agreement about who washes dishes, to focus on and improve our spiritual community
K: Many adventures together, raising our children as a team to not be a-holes, growing together spiritually well into our old age
When did your spouse make you feel the most loved this past year?
C: Either during our recent trip alone to Mexico last fall, or on my birthday when he absolutely spoiled me and bought me hot wings.
K: When we went to Mexico and you took care of me while I wasn’t feeling well.
What has been the biggest obstacle in your marriage to date?
C: We are both very different in personality and communication styles, and we learned very different methods of dealing with conflict. We’ve had to work past all that over the years.
K: Communication.
~At least they agree!! Communication is a hard one! But not unfix-able…
What do now know about marriage that you didn’t when you got married?
C: It’s so much more enjoyable if you simply enjoy your spouse, rather than trying to change them to fit what you THINK they should be like.
K: It takes a lot of continued dedication and it always pays to give the other person the benefit of the doubt.
What is some advice you would give to newlyweds that might be in your exact same situation when you two began?
C: Absolutely seek wisdom from trusted advisors, but don’t wait around forever for everyone else to agree with you about when or if you should get married.
K: Take the time to sit down and listen to your spouse.
Are there couples you look up to that have influenced your marriage for the better? What makes their marriage so great?
C: Both of our parents have had long lasting, pretty healthy marriages. They’ve all stuck out their marriages even through difficult circumstances. They choose to commit to each other and choose to find ways to spend intentional time together just having fun. Both sets would automatically describe their spouses as their best friends.
What helps you love the other person, even when you’re not happy with them?
C: Usually when I’m unhappy with him, it’s because of something very temporary, and very often more about me and how I’m feeling than about him. I find not coloring our entire relationship with just one moment of frustration is really helpful in those moments. Words like “always,” “never,” and other superlatives are usually inaccurate and unfair, and reminding myself of that in the moment is crucial for me.
K: Recognizing our friendship and how much we are willing to do to make the other person happy.
What is your favorite CHANGE in your spouse after all these years?
C: He is NOT a fan of conflict. And he avoids just about any uncomfortable conversation that he can. But in an act of love, he will have deep, difficult conversations with me. He’s learned to trust me and offer me the benefit of the doubt around my motivations and even if he has a hard time with those difficult conversations with others, he will have them with me.
K: She’s grown to be a lot more confident and secure with herself.
What are your goals together for the next year?
C: We want to schedule ourselves better! We don’t get quite as much time together as we would like. We would also like to do everything we can to get him healthy again as he’s dealing with a heavy illness right now.
~Show of hands (in the comments), who can tell this presh couple about the 15 hour rule…?
How do you keep the romance alive?
C: Humor. We are best friends and play together all the time. From that, romance grows really organically.
K: We play with each other.
What is your greatest dream you dream together?
C: To grow old together and to keep contributing and to remain spiritually intense.
K: To get property and use that for ministry.
In your opinion, how do you feel marriage (in society) today differs from when you were first married?
C: When we were first married, I’m not sure that it was societal, but I know that many people we knew expected us to get divorced as we were so young and (presumably) stupid. I think those same people have a lot more confidence in us and our relationship now to the point of asking us to support others and encourage their relationships.
K: I don’t pay attention to marriage trends for other people.
Do you have any boundaries for your marriage to keep it safe and sacred that you could share?
C: Nothing is private. We know each others’ passwords to everything, have access to everything that the other does, etc. We have nothing hidden, and with that, we have nothing to hide.
K: We try to make sure any interactions we have with people who aren’t in the marriage honors our spouse.
I chose Becky as my photographer for this special memory because…
C: As a photographer myself, I have such a hard time getting comfortable in front of the camera. Becky is able to make me laugh and forget that I’m being awkward in front of a lens, and gets beautiful images as a result!
K: Cristin told me to. (I’m kidding) She takes awesome photos and is a lot of fun to hang out with!
Again. LOVE these crazy kids. Blessing and favor to you two on your 10th year together!!
~Becky
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