Tony and Beth met at work in South Bend, Indiana. She’s an Indiana native, and Tony had moved up from Louisiana. He was a system administrator at a web development company (which was a subsidiary of the University of Notre Dame), when Beth joined as a project manager. This upcoming anniversary will be 15 years for this couple!
When is your anniversary?
“October 5 (2002) We got married in Estes Park but continued living in South Bend for a couple of years after.”
If you could have 3 wishes for your future what would they be?
“Beth: That we would both enjoy general overall health for a long time. That we would parent well enough for our son to be well-adjusted, responsible, and independent — and still want to be around us, too.? And that we can manage our finances well enough to do some traveling over the years, so we can expose Brock to other places and things.
Tony: A Porsche, a Lamborghini, and a Ferrari.
Beth: And I thought my wishes were daunting!”
What has been the biggest obstacle in your marriage to date?
“Being far away from almost all of our family, and the friends with whom we have a long history. It would be beneficial to have ?more of these people physically around, for stronger social support, though we’re happy for the handful we do have within an hour radius. On top of having moved away from everyone to come to Colorado, Tony and I both worked from home in our own small business for years – so making lots of friends here has been an ongoing challenge. We definitely need a wider circle of people around us, particularly now that we’re parenting.”
What do now know about marriage that you didn’t when you got married?
“When you get married, you think you’re going to want to do everything with this one person all the time. But you begin to realize that alone-time is still necessary as well. We both still really value that.”
Are there couples you look up to that have influenced your marriage for the better? What makes their marriage so great?
“Beth: We’re fortunate to have many great examples in our lives – Tony has an aunt and uncle who just hit their 60-year mark. My parents are coming up on 58 years. I have several aunts and uncles who have been married just as long. And cousins who have been married 20 or more years now, as well. They’re all sweet, generous, remarkable people in their own ways, and we’re so grateful for them! I think one thing we’ve both noticed about all of them, is that these people laugh. A lot. They don’t sweat the small stuff – they just laugh, for the most part. That’s something we need to do more of. My dad’s parents were married about 70 years. In the last several years, my grandmother had Alzheimer’s. She reached a point where she didn’t always recognize her own sons, or my grandfather. When he couldn’t care for her at home anymore, my grandfather visited her frequently in the nursing home. He always got dressed up, because she had liked him dressed nicely. And he would sit with her and talk to her – and he still laughed with her, even then. He got into her world, and made jokes about the things she saw in her mind, and got her to laugh, too. He was such an amazing example of complete love and devotion. On her last day, he sat and held her hand for hours. She was asleep, but wouldn’t hold anyone else’s hand, and she ultimately didn’t pass until after he left her side to go home. At her funeral, he said to me, ‘She’s all better now.'”
What helps you love the other person, even when you’re not happy with them?
“Knowing that the other person’s intent is not ultimately bad – we’re not out to hurt each other. We know when we’re just not on the same page, or when one person is just having a particularly off day. We ultimately just know that we’ll get through it.”
What is your greatest dream you dream together?
“In a nutshell: having a home on a little bit of land, in the woods, with a river running through it.
We’ve been talking recently about having a small bit of land and retiring someday in Estes Park. Or maybe even finding a way to do it sooner. For instance, if we could buy a small home there on a decent little piece of land, then we could rent it out through AirBNB, and do some traveling supported by those funds. We’ve even toyed with the idea of getting a little larger plot of land somewhere, with friends, and each couple having their own house on that space. So we’d have friend-neighbors nearby but we’d still have space between! Doesn’t that sound fun?”
I chose Becky as my photographer for this special memory because…
“She rocks! We’ve seen her work and have loved it.”
~What a sweet story of dreaming, believing and achieving! Congrats on your many years together, love birds!
Becky