When did your spouse make you feel the most loved this past year?
“Ruth: He went with me to a melodrama, and later said it made him so happy to see me laughing and having so much fun at the play.
Marv: I don’t think of individual incidents, but I feel the joy Ruth has brought to me over our lifetime.”
What has been the biggest obstacle in your marriage to date?
“Ruth: Differing discipline styles when the kids were young.
Marv: Getting established financially in the early years.”
“Ruth: It can’t always be 50-50.
Marv: It’s very important to be open about your thinking in order to build a partnership.”
What is some advice you would give to newlyweds that might be in your exact same situation when you two began?
“Ruth: I really appreciate Marv for not feeling threatened by any successes I have achieved; rather, he considers that my successes honor him for his choice. We do not compete – that’s very destructive.
Marv: It’s really helpful to become well-acquainted with each other’s families – provides understanding. We were fortunate to grow up in the same town and we always knew each other’s families. This isn’t actually advice because it can’t be contrived. However, it is important to make every effort to meet and know each other’s families, so there are no surprises there.”
“Our shared faith which teaches us to forgive and extend grace when bad things happen. We recognize that neither of us is perfect. Our faith is the foundation for our lives individually as well as for our marriage – very important.”
In your opinion, how do you feel marriage (in society) today differs from when you were first married?
“Marriage was a life commitment then. We made vows before God and kept them. Divorce was not a consideration for us. Divorce typically doesn’t solve problems – it just creates different ones, although there are situations where it is necessary. Do what you promised – love, honor, cherish till death.”
“Have faith and trust in each other (earn it); fidelity; no lying or deceiving; no secrets; don’t stay angry; don’t play the blame game; i.e., follow biblical standards. Express appreciation for each other every day – and not just once.”
~Thank you for your wise words and encouragement and for sharing that with us all, Marv and Ruth! We need more of YOU in this world!
Becky